Governance is the exercise of authority or control. Now before you go on thinking this is a post about the government, read on a little further. The type of governance that I am speaking to is self-governance.
Let me begin with a short story. One day my Grandma and Grandpa, Rose and Gene, were headed to an event in their vehicle. On their way to the show, a car came in to their lane on the freeway very quickly and cut my Grandpa off. He was so enraged by this that he could not recover from the experience and it was taking a toll on their road trip. My Grandmother spoke up and said, “Gene, why would you be so upset over this? By getting so angry, you are allowing that person to govern your feelings.” As my Grandpa Gene thought on this, he was able to access what my Grandma was saying, and cool down.
This story has traveled with me from the moment I heard it, and I will keep it close to my heart for all time. When we allow others to affect our well being we are giving them the power to have governance over our states of minds. When someone does something to upset you, and it sinks in deeply, what is your plan of action? If you do not have one, the outcome could be tragic for you and even irreparable for some time.
Allowing another person, or psychological state of being, to make decisions about the course of your day, and for that matter your life, is the same as giving them a power that they have no warrant to control. Giving others permission to have authority or control over your mental health and current state of being is like the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark with Harrison Ford as Indian Jones. (If you haven’t seen this movie I recommend it for good fun!) Basically, he is trying to get out of captivity, while being surrounded and engulfed by hundreds of snakes. For some this might be a dream come true, but for most this would be a worst nightmare.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to be mindful of how we are being treated yet even more so how we are treating ourselves. When the end of the day comes, and there is no where else to go, where do you turn? Over sleeping? Sleeplessness? Eating? Drinking? Smoking? Depression? Grief? Sadness? Feeling alone? All of these distractions are the minds way of becoming forgetful of activities what can actually help us move forward on our soul path and beyond an event that has hurt our feelings or even worse made us feel as though there is no reason to go on. Experiencing these distractions is totally normal but they all require a period of time to recover from. It is okay to want to forget about the way that we feel, but how long can this behavior go on? In some cases it may take twice as long to recover from it.
Please take note that you have the power within you to change this debilitating state when you are in it. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the MOST difficult. Remember that. Just getting off of the couch to go for a walk, or facing the world like you have in the past, can seem overwhelming or impossible. Know this. The only person that can give you that strength is the person you have been with your entire life. Yourself. Friends and family can be there to support you, but you will always have to do the work in the end. The longer it takes to realize this, the longer it will take to return.
Take back the part of you that has been stolen by allowing others to govern the way that you feel inside in these moments, and know that you can and will feel better. Even for the little things in life such as, some one cutting in front of you in line, someone taking the last loaf of bread or someone accidentally elbowing you in public and not apologizing for it. These things all have an effect on us and make the human psyche feel angry, damaged and abused.
You have the power to conduct your own emotional intelligence. This gift is also called your free will. If you align your will with a higher plane of consciousness and ask for help in this moment, and sincerely mean it, you can recover. Don’t give up. Don’t expect miracles right away. It is important to be realistic about our expectations and goals for ourselves. Listen to the voice deep inside of you and know that the source of all creation is manifested within you. Some folks call this God, some call it Spirit, while others call it a Higher Power. Whatever you identify this source to be, connect with it. Call on the Spirit Animals that apply to the situation that you are in and can give you the strength that you need. Know that the answers to feel better and move forward are within you.
At the end of the day, week, month, year… the only person that will have to make up for time lost from feeling down is Me, Myself and I. Here is a mantra or prayer you can say to yourself whenever you are in a bad situation, or underneath a dark cloud that you do not feel capable of pulling yourself out from. Write it on a mirror, jot it down on a piece of paper you can carry around with you in your purse or wallet. Memorize it, and/or be creative and write your own. Say it out loud, yell it, sing it, or let it be a prayer to God.
If I allow others to govern the way that I feel I will have to make up for the time spent feeling bad about it on my own. I will not allow anyone to make me feel anything I do not choose to feel for myself. I alone own the power to govern my life. I know, without a doubt, that no one can take that away from me unless I give it to them.
tHE tERRY tREE